After 4 long years of me and my girlfriend trying with fertility treatment, we had done it! We found out we were having a baby and everything was textbook perfect. I had reached my 20 week scan and we found out we were having a boy! Everything looked great!
Then at around 24 weeks I had experienced pain in my side. I went to hospital for a routine checkup and was told everything looked good but they would like to do one little last check called a foetal fibronectin test that can give the hospital a heads up if there is a chance of you going into early labour. When my results came back, they were through the roof. That means he was coming early, we just weren’t sure how early. They thought another 2/4 weeks. I was giving emergency steroid injections for his lungs, so if he came he was a little more prepared and was kept in for a few nights. I eventually was allowed home with the all clear but my app’s became weekly to make sure they could keep an eye out for early signs of labour. On my next appointment I had a scan done and there he was jumping about, kicking his legs and giving all the nurses a thumbs up through the monitor. He was happy and healthy, he had become “head down” but wasn’t engaged so there was no worry about early labour.
The days past and I went home but 4 days later I had noticed he wasn’t moving around as much but I was told because he’s moved I may not be used to his new movements or routine. Still unhappy with how I was feeling I went straight up to triage for a 2nd opinion and there in a little dark room we found out that our son Tommie Jr had no heartbeat. We had lost our precious baby, but It wasn’t over I still had to give birth.
We went home and came to terms with the fact he was gone and told our close family. We were scheduled to be induced the following day. Our son made his entry into the world on the 31st of January 2021 at 4:20am, weighing 750g, 32cm long and was extremely loved by his two mums.
We spent the most beautiful 5 days with our son thanks to a cold cot and amazing nurses that helped us make final memories with our son from photo’s, to hand prints to even helping us give our son his first bath. These were all the little things that helped us believe we were still mothers. A fantastic midwife gave me the details and a little bag from Held In Our Hearts and I contacted them straight away, sitting on my hospital bed. I was scared to leave the hospital without any help in place, and am so thankful I did. There’s times when I’ve not known what to do or how to deal with emotions. Being in a same sex couple, it’s hard to get help when no one understands the other parent’s feelings. Our son has two mothers who love him equally and wholeheartedly. We struggle together and now we have Held In Our Hearts to help ease that struggle.
Aimee & Rebekah x