Peer Support

My precious daughter Eilidh was stillborn at 32 weeks in April 1996 and Held In Our Hearts was a huge help to me.  I always wanted to give back to the charity and started as a volunteer, before becoming a Peer Support Worker, then Bereavement Co-ordinator and now Head of Support Services.  I feel privileged to work for such an amazing charity, where our values of Empathy, Connection and Love are shown daily, not only to the families we support but to staff and volunteers too.   Bereavement care and support have come such a long way since I lost my daughter and I hope we can continue to improve and be the light at the end of a very dark tunnel.

I’m a mum to three girls, my firstborn Tilly was born with a diaphragmatic hernia and died of an infection at twenty five days old. 

Losing a child for me was a such a lonely place to be, everyone’s life was able to move on but mine couldn’t and all I wanted was to talk about Tilly, she wasn’t my guilty secret she was my daughter and I was her mummy. 

I met the lovely Nicola at Held in our hearts six months after my loss by chance and had a peer support session – to hear another bereaved parent tell me they had felt what I felt made my feelings normal in my head, and we kept in contact over the years. 

When I later took voluntary redundancy, I was approached by Nicola to come onboard, the timing was right for us both, so here I am. 

Listening to parents talk about their babies with such love is one of the most special parts of my work, pure and raw but love at its best. 

I am a Peer Supporter as well as doing a volunteer co-ordinator role. 

Nothing could have prepared me for losing my son, Hunter, in July 2013. I lost him quite suddenly 18 weeks into my first pregnancy. I had never experienced grief like it and felt so alone. When my husband found Held In Our Hearts it was amazing to finally feel safe and understood.

Unfortunately, on Mother’s Day 2015, at 22 weeks pregnant I lost our daughter, Esmae. Once again the charity supported us in ways others could not.

We remained hopeful, but in October 2015, a scan showed our daughter, Freya, had anencephaly, a condition incompatible with life and we had to make the heart-breaking decision to terminate. Whilst grief and loss were familiar, experiencing a TFMR was new territory, but Held In Our Hearts understood and thankfully had already been supporting us throughout the pregnancy.  

The following year, after a second early loss, I became pregnant for the sixth time and in April 2017, after a lot of amazing care, including counselling sessions and support from Held In Our Hearts, I gave birth to Iris…and we brought her home.

After having Iris I decided not go back to my job as a Media Sales Manager for a national newspaper publisher and became a stay at home mum. It was so lovely to have the chance to spend precious time with her before she started school. In 2021 my wee family moved from Edinburgh back to my hometown of Inverness and I jumped at the chance to be part of Held In Our Hearts’ expansion to the Highlands. I did my peer supporter training and it just felt right.

It’s such a privilege to be a Peer Supporter here in the Highlands. I know the difference it can make to speak someone who understands the heartache of losing a precious baby.  I hope I can help ease the feelings of loneliness and isolation.

Hi, my name is Amy, and I am the Peer Support Worker for Fife. I offer support to families over the phone, online and in person, in our lovely Rainbow Room in Dalgety Bay. I will be working closely with both the Hospital to Home Worker and Counsellor for Fife, providing families the support they so desperately deserve after such devastating loss.

I was first introduced to Held In Our Hearts back in October of 2021, after losing our baby girl Daisy. Daisy was our third baby, having two beautiful boys already we were ecstatic to be having a little girl. Losing Daisy, halfway through our pregnancy and very suddenly, completely shattered our world and I fell apart, unable to see any hope for the future. A lovely bereavement nurse from our hospital suggested that I reach out to Held In Our Hearts, and I have never been more thankful for this. I first received invaluable support from the amazing Peer Supporter Vikki and then after realizing I was suffering from complex PTSD, I moved onto the much-needed counselling service from the wonderful Ailsa.

The charity means the absolute world to me. I know just how important it is to have someone who can truly empathize with you and how you’re feeling, there are no expectations, no judgements and the space for you to love and grieve your baby is completely safe. Held In Our Hearts understood our loss and the enormity of our grief. I found myself unable to fully express to my close family just how awful I was feeling, the pressure was overwhelming. I hated the thought of family members being upset because of me, or them worrying about me, so I was silent. The support provided me with a space where I could talk, guilt free. It then allowed me the courage to be able to share my baby and all that she means to me, and I believe this is how I was able to go on.

Held In Our Hearts continued to support me throughout my subsequent pregnancy and in September 2023, we welcomed our much-loved Rainbow baby into the world.

I feel so privileged to be in this position now, walking with families through their own heartbreaking loss and giving them my support, I truly understand the importance of the space provided.

In my spare time, I enjoy spending time with my family and catching up with friends. I love spending time outdoors, growing my own veggies and doing a bit of DIY here and there. I have an eye for detail and have a keen interest in wildlife photography.

I’m beyond grateful and extremely excited to begin my journey with the incredible Held In Our Hearts charity. In December 2022 my daughter Maisy passed away unexpectedly, aged four. The compassion and support I have experienced from the charity have been absolutely invaluable in the process of navigating grief. Throughout the time I received bereavement support, I had the pleasure of meeting with various valuable members of the charity, and there is no doubt in my mind that if it were not for the guidance and care Held In Our Hearts has consistently shown me, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. I am unbelievably driven to give back to a charity that has done so much for me and help to deliver the quality of bereavement support that families so desperately deserve. I hope my involvement with the charity can continue to grow over time and I can offer some valuable first-hand insights to help bring dignity, comfort and understanding to parents and families during the most heartbreaking time of their lives. I look forward to what my role within the charity may bring, but I especially look forward to building bonds with families and being privileged enough to walk their journey with them

In July 2013, our world came crashing down. At almost 21 weeks pregnant, we received the devastating news that our baby wouldn’t survive due to a fetal abnormality, and we made the impossible decision to have a termination for medical reasons. Our beautiful son, Findlay, was born sleeping on 20 July. That was one of the darkest, loneliest and most isolating times of my life, and Held in our Hearts provided invaluable support through support groups, peer support and counselling. We were blessed with Findlay’s little brother, Cameron Findlay, in July 2014 and Held in our Hearts where there throughout. Fast forward to 2022, when I had an early miscarriage. At 45 years old, this totally devastated me, knowing that that was my last chance to give Cameron a living sibling. I felt so alone, desperate and hopeless and again Held in our Hearts where there.

I trained as a volunteer peer supporter, knowing how much the support helped me and can only hope that by giving parents a safe space to talk, it helps them in some small way. It is an absolute privilege to hear their stories and hope that by sharing in a safe space, this can bring some comfort. It’s a heartbreaking path to walk, but we can walk it together.