Peer Support

“My little girl Eve was stillborn on 24th December 2007. Eve was my fourth baby and I never considered she wouldn’t survive. The first time I heard about Held In Our Hearts was through a lovely lady that lives in my village. After I lost Eve, she’d written me a lovely letter saying she’d lost two babies herself. She’d heard what had happened to me and told me how helpful she’d found Held In Our Hearts. She had offered to come with me to some meetings and she was a great support to me. The first meeting I went to, I just sat in the corner crying and listening to other people talking. No-one made me feel I had to speak until I was ready. I went to the meetings in Edinburgh for a good few months. I have since done my Peer Support training, and I hope my support helps other families at such a painful time.”

“I am married and have two children Hannah 13 and Liam 10. On the 21st January 2011 our world fell apart when we lost our wee girl Lilly at 17 weeks gestation. It was on the 9th January 2012 I attended a Held In Our Hearts Meeting which was the turning point in my life; for once I was in a room with people who understood and I could say Lilly’s name and be proud of her in a safe environment. I have been involved with the charity ever since. I became a Peer Supporter in November 2012 and help with the West Lothian support group and volunteers in any way I can.”

After raising awareness by volunteering and running for Held In Our Hearts and meeting so many parents it felt like a natural step. As a long ago bereaved parent I am well aware that parents did not always talk about their baby or it was a taboo subject for a long time. This being my experience for many years, I became aware that when I discovered Held In Our Hearts for myself, many of those feeling of loss and despair and loneliness had been supressed. When I started to talk about Lewis it was such a pleasure to keep his legacy alive and share him with so many. He is now no longer a dim and distant memory. I want to help parents realise that to talk about their journey as a bereaved parent is completely normal and not something to be ashamed of.

My son Callum died at 22+2 weeks gestation in July 2012 after being diagnosed with complex abnormalities, that we later learned were caused by an inherited condition (Smith Lemli Opitz Syndrome). I became a Peer Supporter for Held In Our Hearts to help other bereaved parents particularly those who have been through a similar antenatal diagnosis.

My precious daughter Eilidh was stillborn 21 years ago and Held In Our Hearts was a huge help to me. A couple of years ago, I had to give up work due to health problems, and now that I have free time on my hands (2 children at school and 2 at Uni), I want to give something back to the charity that helped me and took on the role of Principal Peer Supporter in 2019. I want to help other bereaved parents and show them there can be light at the end of a very dark tunnel.

In December 2014, my baby boy Ollie died at full term. After a healthy pregnancy and natural labour, he died on the day he was born, due to meconium aspiration syndrome. My family and I were completely devastated and adjusting to life without our baby was incredibly difficult.

Losing a baby is so hard to comprehend, and I often felt isolated from well-meaning family and friends. By speaking to other bereaved parents through Held In Our Hearts, I was provided with a sense of comfort that I couldn’t find elsewhere. Their support continued throughout my subsequent miscarriages, and the pregnancy with my youngest daughter.

I feel privileged to have become a Peer Supporter for the charity, and I hope to help other bereaved families during such a difficult time.

I live in Edinburgh with my husband and two young daughters.

I am looking forward to becoming more involved with Held In Our Hearts. The charity is close to my heart and provides so much help and valuable assistance. I lost my own daughter Freya over 5 years ago and was lost and hurt and found the grieving process hard to get to grips with. I attended my first meeting which was daunting. However, after a short time being there I felt relaxed and realised everyone was united in grief and there to share their journey and find ways of dealing with such a difficult time. I can’t speak highly enough of the charity and I’m proud to say I’m going to be a part of male support going forward.

I’m a mum to two girls, my firstborn Tilly was born with a diaphragmatic hernia and died of an infection at twenty five days old. 

Losing a child for me was a such a lonely place to be, everyone’s life was able to move on but mine couldn’t and all I wanted was to talk about Tilly, she wasn’t my guilty secret she was my daughter and I was her mummy. 

I met the lovely Nicola at Held in our hearts six months after my loss by chance and had a Peer Support session, to hear another bereaved parent tell me they had felt what I felt made my feelings normal in my head, and we kept in contact over the years. 

I took voluntary redundancy last year and was approached by Nicola to come onboard, the timing was right for us both, so here I am. 

Listening to parents talk about their babies with such love is one of the most special parts of my work, pure and raw but love at its best. 

I am a Peer Supporter and will also be taking on the volunteer co-ordinator role. 

My name is Vikki and I first got in touch with Held In Our Hearts about five and a half years ago.
Two days before our wedding day we were told the words during a routine scan that no expectant mother wants to hear, "I'm so sorry". Our baby girl, Angelica, had a condition called anencephaly which, unfortunately, is incompatible with life. One week after hearing those words, our little girl was born.
I had no idea just how difficult the next steps in my journey were going to be, but due to go back to work in the coming weeks, working on the same maternity ward I delivered Angelica on, I needed to talk to someone who understood. And Held In Our Hearts came into my life.
I got in touch with the charity and was befriended by the wonderful Nicola. The compassion and empathy she had was a massive part of helping me on my journey.
Since that moment, I always knew I wanted to give back to this amazing charity. December of 2020 was when I got back in touch to see what I could do to help. I started Peer Support this year and became part of the team in June. It really is the most amazing work this charity provides and I feel so privileged to be a part of it.

Held In Our Hearts has been an incredible support to me and my family ever since our baby son, Alex, died aged 3 weeks in February 2018 due to a severe congenital heart defect.  When we returned home from the hospital without Alex we felt like we were the only people in the world that this had ever happened to, which was terrifying and isolating, despite the well-meaning messages and support from family and friends.  We were lucky to be put in contact with Held In Our Hearts within a few days by our Health Visitor and I remember the first phone call with Nicola as a beam of light into our blackened world, to talk to someone who had been in the same position and who knew exactly how we were feeling was incredible as we felt so alone and hopeless in our grief.

Over the turbulent years since Alex died I regularly met with my Peer Supporter who showed incredible understanding of my grief for Alex and also for my several early miscarriages.  I was also supported through my subsequent pandemic pregnancy by the wonderful pregnancy after loss group.

I have trained to join the Peer Support team as I would like to offer the support and understanding that was shown to me to other bereaved families, to let them know that no one should have to feel alone in their grief following the loss of a beloved baby.

Hi I am Jamie & I am a mum of 4 precious children, with a love of corduroy dungarees, gardening and open water swimming (or bobbing really).  In August 2019, my incredible daughter died suddenly and unexpectedly in the middle of the night when she was 22 days old. when she died I had an overwhelming urge to connect with people who understood my sheer devastation, which is where I found Held In Our Hearts who have helped me so much. Lyle is a twin which added a different dimension to my loss because I also had a newborn baby to care for. I wanted to become a Peer Supporter because I want to connect with and hopefully help other families who have so sadly lost their precious baby too. And in a way it is my way of parenting Lyle too. ?