Remembering Harris

Reading can provide comfort after the loss of your precious baby.  Knowing you are not alone and that others have walked this path and found ways to cope, survive and even heal.

Remembering Harris

Reading can offer words for emotions that feel impossible to describe and help you make sense of the grief, confusion and pain.  It can validate your own feelings, offer insight, compassion and even hope.

Thanks to the kindness of Melissa & Gavin, bereaved parents to Harris, we are able to offer the books below to anyone in Scotland, who has lost a baby or young child and feels they would be helpful to them.  These books are free, however, if you would like to pay it forward to ensure we can continue to offer this service, please feel free to donate on the Just Giving link

https://www.justgiving.com/page/remembering-harris

Remembering Harris - Ben Nevis

The books below are all available to be gifted to families in Scotland, thank you to the wonderful generosity of Remembering Harris Fund.

Melissa & Gavin’s story

Our world was shattered when our son Harris died during labour at 41 + 4 weeks in June 2022. We were able to spend a few days with Harris, to tell him that a lifetime of love was already his, before we had to leave the hospital without him – something that no parent should ever have to do. We look for Harris in all of the beautiful things – we love and miss him and all that he could have become.

In the days and weeks after Harris died, we read lots of books about baby loss and the experience of others. Reading these stories allowed us to articulate how we were feeling when it felt like the right words did not exist. The stories meant that we felt less alone, and they provided some hope that we might survive, particularly on the days when it felt like we wouldn’t.

We approached Held in Our Hearts and have set up the Remembering Harris Fund, which will allow books to be sent to other bereaved parents across Scotland – in the hope that they can provide even the tiniest light on the darkest of days.

If you would like to order a book, please email info@heldinourhearts.org.uk

Any donation made will go towards the books, and also cover the postage costs to allow them to be sent to where they are needed the most.

https://www.justgiving.com/page/remembering-harris

Thank you x

“Maybe this is why we read, and why in moments of darkness we return to books: to find words for what we already know.”

Alberto Manguel

Life after baby loss

**Winner of Author of the Year at The Butterfly (Baby Loss) Awards**

This book is for parents and families navigating the emotional challenges of baby loss.

When my baby died, my world changed forever. I was filled with love yet heartbroken, facing the challenge of living without my cherished treasure. After experiencing two miscarriages and an anxiety-fuelled pregnancy after loss, I finally welcomed my baby girl. This book is the resource I wish I had; it aims to help you not only survive the loss of your baby but also celebrate their life, no matter how brief.

Losing a child is devastating, and the loss of a baby before birth remains a taboo topic. In this gentle guide, Nicola Gaskin opens the conversation around baby loss, offering honest and empathetic support.

From coping with shock and managing feelings of jealousy and anger to surviving birthdays and Mother’s Day, this book helps you navigate the complex emotions of grief and parenting after loss.

Beautifully written and illustrated, it reminds you that you are not alone and that all your feelings are valid.

Our heartbreaking choices

This book addresses abortion, particularly in cases involving poor prenatal diagnoses or serious maternal health complications. It features 46 personal stories from women who chose to end much-wanted pregnancies. Unfortunately, societal support for these parents is limited, leaving many to cope with their grief in isolation.

Our aim is to share these experiences to help others who have faced similar losses feel less alone and stigmatized. We want to give a voice to those who have suffered and illustrate that, in certain circumstances, abortion can be a moral choice.

While we focus on supporting those faced with these difficult decisions, we do not judge those who choose abortion for other reasons or who opt to continue a complicated pregnancy. We respect all choices and support each parent’s path.

The Song of the whole wide world

 “The Song of the Whole Wide World” is an extraordinary memoir by artist and academic Tamarin Norwood, exploring anticipatory grief through her experience of pregnancy and a silent maternity leave.

After learning that her baby would not survive, Tamarin, along with her husband and their three-year-old son, faced the challenging emotions of preparing for loss. Written during her pregnancy and maternity leave, this memoir weaves together insights from medical science, poetry, and vivid dreams, illuminating the connections between life and death.

This intimate and moving account offers a lyrical meditation on grief, birth, and the search for solace.

The Worst Girl Gang

Bex and Laura have created a vital guide for anyone facing miscarriage and pregnancy loss, drawing from their experience as co-hosts of the podcast, The Worst Girl Gang Ever.

After a loss, it can feel like you’ve lost your voice and need to learn a new language of grief that others may not understand. This community, while not one you chose to join, is filled with supportive warrior women ready to help you navigate your emotions.

You have the right to grieve, and your feelings are valid. We’re here to break the silence, shame, and judgment surrounding miscarriage. Let’s talk, share, and support one another—together, we can empower each other in healing.

When skies are grey

Lindsey Henke is newly married and a practising psychotherapist when she finds out she is pregnant with her first child. Tragically, after a perfect pregnancy, she learns that her baby has no heartbeat upon arriving at the hospital in December 2012.

Following the stillbirth of her daughter, Lindsey confronts the overwhelming pain of loss. Drawing on her skills as a therapist, she navigates her grief over the next eighteen months while also preparing for the arrival of another baby. Through this journey, she discovers that grief and joy can coexist.

“When Skies Are Grey” conveys an important message to grieving mothers: Your pain is real, and while the ache may soften over time, your love for the child you lost will forever remain. It’s okay to feel that love; a mother’s love never dies.

Two; We are enough; A memoir of IVF, loss and love

My life plan – meet a boy, get married, have a baby, live happily ever after.

But things don’t always go to plan though, do they.

This deeply personal memoir recounts my own fertility journey, through multiple rounds of IVF, loss and a feeling of hopelessness, to overcoming feelings of failure and loneliness. I am using my own first-hand experiences to give a no-nonsense, honest perspective of the journey from that first try to get pregnant through to the realisation of infertility, life beyond this and knowing that two is enough.

The waiting room; Stories of love, loss and hope on the path to parenthood

The path to parenthood is deeply personal. When that journey twists and stalls, it can feel impossibly lonely. Yet connection, courage and hope can be found, often in the stories of those who have taken the road before us.

The Waiting Room exists because too many people experience infertility, loss and longing in silence. Every day in the UK, there are hundreds of miscarriages, about seven stillbirths, ten terminations for medical reasons and five neonatal deaths. Around 1 in every 80 pregnancies in the UK is ectopic. Globally, 1 in 6 couples face infertility at some point in their lives. Yet, the silence around the hospital visits and heartbreak remains.

What happens after the negative pregnancy tests, the first miscarriage, the failed round of IVF, the ectopic pregnancy or the stillbirth? What is it like to pursue adoption, surrogacy or donor conception, or come to terms with a life without children? Drawing on dozens of honest, hopeful, bravely shared accounts, Audrey Ward curates a selection of stories – including her own – from those whose journeys to (or away from) parenthood were anything but simple, to help answer all these questions, and more.

So, join us in The Waiting Room, a place of comfort, advice and connection, for anyone who has ever felt that parenthood is painfully out of reach.

‘Shines a light on experiences too often hidden or misunderstood’ Sharon Martin, Interim CEO, Fertility Network UK